ABC, after overnight: Diego Gomez, a Brighton midfielder, from halfway. Crystal Palace, the Amex, the seventh minute. The ball, near the centre, a step into their half, about 50 metres, over Walter Benítez, in. 2–0. Three minutes later, 3–0. Full time: 5–0. It is not Beckham’s goal from 1996. It is a memory, the headline says. Not the same kick.

Premier League, measurements from 2006/07 on: 51.3 metres. Eighth for distance in 20 years. Fifth, if you take out three goalkeepers who shot from their own boxes. Rooney, Everton–West Ham, November 2017, 57.7 metres. Since then, nobody further. Beckham, Wimbledon, 1996/97, is not in the table. We do not force him in.

Hürzeler, in ABC: Gomez tried something like it last week, 2–0 at Sunderland. The wind, then, no. Now, yes. A reward for the work, the manager says. It is not an essay on character. It is his mouth.

Brighton, after ABC: third, behind Manchester City and Arsenal. 23 goals in seven games, most in the league, best goal difference. Palace is the M23 rival. That is all. It is not a title. It is not the Champions League.

A strike from distance does not move the table on its own. Five–nil, yes. The photograph: the Amex, from Hollingbury Hill, 8 February 2020. Not the seventh minute. Not Benítez in the air.

Image: Hassocks5489, Amex from Hollingbury Hill, 8 February 2020, CC0, Wikimedia Commons. Not the seventh minute.

Sources consulted: Diego Gomez goal from halfway conjures memories of David Beckham in Brighton's EPL win — ABC News; What are the longest-range goals in Premier League history? Where does Gomez’s rank? — Premier League.